Coming home from vacation can be depressing. Very depressing.

Yet, as I got off the bus and smelled the wonderful pollution of the Big City, there was only one thing on my mind. I was home.

Zagreb mornings


There is something very seductive about Zagreb. As a small town girl in the Big City surviving high school, I found myself absorbed by the streets and the crowd, eventually finding a home away from home, and as the years went on that feeling of belonging never really disappeared. Being constantly on the move has always been fulfilling, yet I’m slowly becoming aware that it might be more than what my 24-hour day can bear.


After all, it’s not like I haven’t written anything for a month, now, is it?


I guess the way we spend our days in the city is what changes the most over a short period of time. The high school days ended just a couple of years ago, but at this point it seems as distant as it never actually happened. It was just a B 80s movie. Now, everything is college or work related, with an occasional afternoon one-hour beer time. When I think about it, that change isn’t bad as I thought at first.

As we grow older and become more mature, we change the way we perceive our surroundings. Memories are great. In fact, they are fantastic. One of the most important things in one’s life is to have something to remember as time rushes forward. I walk the streets of Zagreb with a smile on my face remembering all the things that happened during my adolescent years. There was no need to think about cloning myself to clean up that very busy schedule of mine.

Would I go back?

Absolutely not.


Because there is nothing at this moment that could make me happier than knowing there is a future on those same streets that made me the person I am today.

Or winning the lottery, of course. That would be great.


As I was absent for quite a while, I would like to thank three great bloggers for the award nominations: Accidentally SingleBIA ATLAS and Oh, For The Love…

I will be more than happy to pass it on within the next few days when I manage to clean up my twenty-something schedule.


One afternoon, somewhere around 6 p.m., I collapsed on the sidewalk.

It happened really fast, yet it felt like forever. A bunch of images scrolled in front of my eyes; then everything was bright and loud, and then there was nothing. Pitch black darkness and voices calling my name from the distance. In the last moments of my consciousness, I thought to myself:

“This is it, I guess. Well, f*ck.” 

I woke up to a light that was too bright to open my eyes for more than a second, and an unrecognizable reality. How much did I smoke and how much coffee did I drink? Have I eaten anything other than an apple in the morning?

Too much, definitely too much, and no. For months.

Next morning, lying in my bed, slowly regaining the movement of my arms and legs from the exhaustion of the previous day, I looked at the coffee machine creeping through the door frame.

“Oh no, you won’t. It’s time for breakfast, you evil kitchen appliance.”

So the coffee waited for a couple of hours. After the breakfast, it was time to do some life appreciation in the form of a field trip (yay).

River Ombla, Croatia


It is amazing how much people have to fail themselves before finally making the decision to change. The number of individuals I know leading this kind of life for months, even years and decades, is skyrocketing. Every day there is a new excuse for the way we treat ourselves; family disputes, financial troubles, problems at work, bad relationships, or bad breakups. Still, the inevitable is always somewhere around the corner, hiding neatly in the shadows, and we constantly act like we will never have to face what is waiting for us there. Well, the hide and seek game none of us really intended to play was finally over for me.

How did some of us become so self-destructive that we push ourselves to the limits of what our mental and physical health can bear? Or is it just the level of modern-day stress that is doing all that for us and we sort of…give in?

Unfortunately, there seems to be no straight answer to those questions. As the adulthood slaps us right into the pimply adolescent faces, it is up to every individual to find a way to deal with all the new responsibilities in life. During the transition, some find it hard to asimilate and create their own little world of unhealthy habits that will be very hard to leave behind later in life. It all depends on the character of a person and what they are willing to sacrifice for more time in this world to do all the things they wish to accomplish.
And the first step in changing your habit-infested lifestyle is as simple as going to the grocery store and buying some cauliflower.


(and actually eating it)


…and all the men and women are merely aspiring actors getting turned down for almost every role they audition for. Annie fits into the category.

I spend almost every morning doing my usual routine; coffee, cigarette, and thinking about stuff nobody should think about at 7 in the morning. People usually have the tendency of keeping themselves up at night thinking about the past, the future, that horror movie they watched 10 years ago that is still haunting them, or just looking at the cracks on the ceiling thinking how it is about time they painted the walls on their next day off.

I, on the other hand, do all that in the morning (minus the ceiling part), listening to the most random playlist one could possibly imagine. And when „I would do anything for love“ by Meatloaf starts playing, I litterally lose it. As it is 7 a.m. Meatloaf time as I am writing this, sitting on a terrace looking directly at the Game of Thrones set (a little hint – Dubrovnik), minus the dragons and partially minus the naked people, the strangest thoughts find their way to my brain once again. The title of this article was just one of those thoughts; I’m planning on spending my day with a friend, an aspiring actor, who also happens to be in Dubrovnik. 

Oh, the wonderful world of memes (source)

The whole concept of theatre and the big screen as an interpretation of our everyday lives is quite mindblowing. We escape the dramatic reality by going to entertainment centres to watch that same drama being portrayed in front of us by people who are paid to do so. We also love saying how we like avoiding drama, but as long as it’s somebody elses we become all eyes and ears faster than the speed of Usain Bolt.

Every personal drama is our own little audition for a desired role in life, and it seems that the way we react to it is 90 percent of the final decision of the judges. Maybe the interest we take in real life drama, or the viritual one, has nothing to do with sticking your nose in other people’s business, an everything to do with learning.

This might seem like a long shot, but let’s put it like this: if we compare it to a theatre audition, every actor in the line for the role wants to know how the person before him did, is there something he did wrong, and what can he do to be better and not make the same mistakes. Even though we can atribute that to competitiveness when we’re talking about older and more experienced actors, the former can especially be applied to the „newbies“. With every new audition, a young aspiring actor learns more and more about the world he decided to be a part of. 

That is what makes this whole journey magical; the idea that there is always a new role to audition for. When we finally reach that state of mind and experience where we are the ones in control of the audition, and finally get that big role, we become the men and women who are merely players.

But for the fun of it, we will still watch a TV drama or two every now and then.

It’s just that other people’s drama won’t be as interesting as it used to be.

Maybe it’s that maturity I keep hearing of?